Pizza and Beer

Posted on June 16, 2012


It started with a box of brownies.  Well, not exactly, but I’d love to place the blame on something.  One week into my new eating plan and I was totally low on energy, exhausted in general, and becoming a little grouchy.  It could probably be blamed on a number of things, but, I was convinced it was this eating plan.  I started to get crazy cravings for stupid, gross, processed food, like brownies.  One thing leads to another and I was on a straight collision course of eating destruction, topped off with pizza and beer.  Hey, it was my mom’s birthday.

There’s something about public confessions that just make me feel like it never happened to begin with.  However, I also realized something.  I had publically made a commitment, an 8 week commitment.  Entering week 2, I’m thinking, “That was dumb, should have started with 1 week.”  Then I realized something; I’d recently gotten into a new practice where I spend a little bit of time every morning being grateful for something.  It’s an amazing, life changing practice (more of that to come in the coming weeks).  I’m doing the exact opposite with this “diet”.  I’m finding all of my flaws and concentrating on them.  I’m being dissatisfied with myself.  That goes against everything I’m doing in other parts of my life that are bringing me happiness and peace.

This is what life is about, right?  We try stuff.  Sometimes it works… sometimes it doesn’t work.  You can read all about my 2 year self-improvement “New Things During Thirty” journey at my other blog. Every time I try something new, I learn from it.  I tried this 8 week diet. It lasted for 1 week.  It was unrealistic for me.  I’m a foodie. I like to eat.  Get too drastic on me, and I go off the deep end. There is a balance to be achieved here… and I’m publically working on finding it.  This means, I get to change directions.

I’m not sure where the next direction is going to take me.  Right now I’m sticking closely to what we’ll call “The Starvation Diet”, however, I’ve added legumes and grains such as Ezekiel bread.  I hear no bread is good bread, but tell that to this girl when you take it away from her.  I need to at least have one serving of a bread type food every couple of days.  And you never know when a trip my fall on your lap as I didn’t expect to be on the beaches of Rocky Point this during week 7.  There is no salmon and asparagus here, just chips and beer.

I’m the type of girl that likes to enjoy herself too much to be so obsessed with the food I put in my mouth that I can’t go outside my home to eat. Life is short.  We’re here to have fun and enjoy it.  It’s about finding balance, and that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.

Over the last 6 weeks of my challenge, I will continue to experiment with my diet and pay attention to the results.  For the first time in my life I am incredibly in touch with my body.  I can tell when I don’t eat right and my body can too.  On my way down to Rocky Point yesterday, the inevitable happened.  It wasn’t 20 minutes since we left town and I noticed I started to lose vision in my left eye.  I wanted so badly to ignore the symptom. I began to feel as if I was having an out of body experience; a sure symptom.  I was getting a migraine.  There are a number obvious factors that should have tipped me off that I was putting myself in a situation where I might trigger a migraine.  The week before, I was depressed – always happens before a migraine, though at the time I was blaming it on “The Starvation Diet”.  This gives me the opportunity to figure it out… if I’m unhappy with this in my life, am I more likely to get a migraine, or is it a chemical imbalance that was making me feel sad, a result of the upcoming migraine.  I was eating processed foods, brownies, pizza, and beer.  I had just started a few new projects at work and was mentally stressed over it.

It’s certainly not to say I am glad that I got the migraine, however, I am grateful that I am able to finally pin point the triggers that cause my debilitating migraines.  I had to give into modern medication to fix the cause and to allow me to ‘suffer’ through the 4- hour drive to Mexico.  It was worth it.  And I feel more in control of my migraines than I was before.  This is my first one in almost 12 months and I used to get them monthly… so I’ll take it.

As I listen to the ocean waves crashing on the shore, and the breeze of the sea that engulfs the condo that I’m lucky enough to be vacationing at, I am reminded we can do whatever we want with our lives, we just have to take the steps towards doing it.

“However small, the first step is hardest of all”.

~Dave Matthews

Posted in: The Experiment